CCF

I realize that my passion for CCF has been intense at times, but it seems like I'm losing that passion lately. I just haven't felt like going to CCF lately. And it's taken me awhile to figure out why. I grew up in a small church with a really small youth group, as opposed to those who went big churches with youth groups so big they have to be divided by age group. It doesn't matter whether or not I believed in God, I'm accustomed to small groups. When I first started going to CCF, it was small. So small that we would have couches for seats instead of these stupid folding chairs. And it seemed like they were geared up for becoming close to students in their walk with Christ. Jason actually had time to sit and talk to a student for hours instead of 30 minutes. It used to be you could just walk into his office and talk. I miss that. ALOT. I miss the feeling of family. I miss the feeling of closeness. I miss that feeling of comfort and safeness with this group. Now, CCF is growing. It's big. And I understand that want. The more people that come, the more people that are coming to Christ. I get it, I really do. But because it's growing, it's screwed up. Now, it seems like Jason is always on the run with errands. Now, it seems like the ministry only cares about the freshman. Now, you can't walk into Jason's office to talk to him. You have to actually call him and ask him when he will be in the office. I feel like CCF isn't interested in bringing people to Christ. It feels to me that CCF is more interested in bring people to volunteer work. It's not a bad thing, volunteering. But it when it seems like it takes a precedent over God and working on our relationship with Him, then we've got a problem because God comes first in everything. Without Him, there is no us. I want to go this summer with them for Casas Por Cristo, but only because it's a cause that's close to my heart. But I kinda almost don't want to go, just because I would be going with CCF. I know it seems harsh. But I used to think I was the only one who felt this way. But I'm not. I've talked to some others who attend CCF on a regular basis, and they feel the same way I do, to an extent. You're probably wondering why I don't just go to a different ministry. Simple. It's because I feel like CCF is my family and you just don't give up on family. You just don't. So call me stubborn. I will admit that I have tried going to other ministries, but they never made me feel welcomed there. And that's a problem too.