Sunday, January 25, 2009

It hurts

Maybe I'm crazy but I really feel like I have to get this off my chest. It's been bothering me for several weeks now.
I fell hard for someone in less than a semester (4 months). I don't know if Brooke ever felt the same way about me, but I never cared. I was happy whenever I was around Brooke. Brooke and I talked about everything about how we were feeling. So when Brooke talked about leaving, not knowing what they wanted to do, I shut down. I knew Brooke well enough at this point that I knew that Brooke was leaving, so I shut down. I stopped hanging out with Brooke so much, because I was preparing myself for Brooke to leave. I mean, wouldn't you? Naturally Brooke noticed that change and finally unleashed it all one night. I believe everything has gone downhill since then.
Then came this semester. And lo and behold, Brooke left. But what hurts the most was that Brooke didn't tell me. She just up and left. I mean the last conversation was about paint. I mean really?? It hurt to have to find out the way I finally did.
We never actually dated, but one of the few people who know how crazy I was for Brooke, they said it was like I was suffering a bad breakup. Keep in mind, that I have never been dumped. If this is what it feels like, this feeling sucks.

1 comment:

Mike Adkins said...

Yeah, losing someone you care for so deeply does suck, and it does hurt, and its going to continue to hurt for a while. Do yourself a favor, though, and make sure that paint wasnt your last conversation. Make sure that person knows that you believe there is something better than a non-existent relationship for you two.

In my opinion, no relationship should ever come to such a complete end for any reason. The truth is, though, that sometimes they must for a time in order for our emotions to play themselves out enough for contact to not be so painful.